maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
