Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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