Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
