I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
