So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
