He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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