Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i've created a new STD.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
