I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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