I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
