Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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