I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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