I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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