Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
