Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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