first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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