yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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