guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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