I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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