I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
