I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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