Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
