how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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