she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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