GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
