Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
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I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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