Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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