We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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