I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
