She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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