i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
