rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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