I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize