Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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