Quick, to the slutcave!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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