May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
