are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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