i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
