her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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