He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize