why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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