Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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