we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
