New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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