Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
