Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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