girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My butt remains clenched, sir.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
