Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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