That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
