he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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