What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
