i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
