Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
