talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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