ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
