the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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