I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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