It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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