there's paper in my vomit.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Randomize