He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
