Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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