Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize