duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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