Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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