rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
