i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
