dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
